A week or two after I started my Bible study in the book of James my girlfriend Carlye called me. She had been reading in Priscilla Shirer's book "Discerning the Voice of God" and a few pages struck her. God had pressed upon her to call me and share these thoughts and writings with me. She was so cute. Carlye said please don't get mad at me but God said to share these things with you. 1.) God wants you to draw close to Him and have a relationship with Him. 2.) Read His word and this is how you will get to know Him. Have a daily quiet time to read the Bible and pray.
This totally made sense. So I told her I had no idea where to even start. She suggested that I start reading the book of Psalm. Read until I can't read anymore. So what did God do? He started waking me early in the morning before Emma so I could sit at the kitchen table and have quiet time. During these mornings I started to have an overwhelming peace. His peace was not about giving me an answer about continuing all of this fertility stuff. I lost many nights of sleep, days I would sit pondering the positives and negatives about continuing the shots or not continuing. I was driving myself nuts (and Phillip) about trying to find out what direction God wanted us to go. After I started my quiet mornings my crazed state went away. I wasn't so concerned about finding God's answer for me.
I am so thankful for my Godly friends. Friends that pray and seek the Lord for guidance and really pray over you when they know you are struggling.