Friday, March 28, 2008
Here comes the pity party.
I prayed and prayed and prayed some more that all this pain was coming from my gall bladder. Although removing an organ from my body is no small feat, I hear that it's really not all that big of a deal in the scheme of things. I had convinced myself that it was my gall bladder. I was crushed when I got the phone call. I continue to be a medical mystery. Much to my daughter and husband's chagrin I was depressed and upset the rest of the day leaving them to bear the brunt of my frustrations. Please accept my apology.
Emma is hit or miss with her naptimes lately. More like missing her naptimes altogether unless we are in the car and she falls asleep. This makes for some challenging afternoons but most of the time she's fine. Yesterday was not one of them. I tried and tried to get her to take a nap. She was frustrated and then I got frustrated. This pattern continued into the evening. She finally fell asleep at 8pm and then we put her down in her bed. We have no semblance of a nighttime routine when it comes to putting her in her own bed. It's ridiculous and I beat myself up for creating this bad habit of her going to sleep at night in our bed. I've felt to bad lately to even fight that battle. I really do love her sleeping with us because she's a great snuggler but I just want her to have the skills to fall asleep in her own bed and actually like it like she used to.
Anyways, the reason I am telling you this is because this morning as Phillip was leaving for work Emma (who woke up in the middle of the night and I brought her into our bed) woke up at 6:15am. We went and laid on the couch and did not get to go back to sleep. Then my stomach started to hurt. Great. I'm grouchy, tired and hurting. This isn't going to lend much to the day.
This morning I have another CT-scan scheduled for 10am. This is a follow-up to the last one they did where they saw the swollen lymphnodes on my colin and saw some inflammation. I'm sick of drinking nasty liquids, fasting and just plain ole tired of everything. Maybe this will be the test where they see something that they didn't see last time. I still have my endoscopy scheduled for next Thursday.
All of these tests and appointments and procedures are enough to give me an ulcer if it's not what I already have. Trying to juggle someone to watch Emma or drop her off at our local childcare place, having Phillip meet us during his lunch hour, asking friends to watch her or having my Mom fly down to help out. It's all so stressful having to ask for help. I like to be able to rise above everything and handle it because it's what I've had to do. It's easy for me. But when I have to ask for help or rely on others it becomes draining. Not because I don't appreciate the help because I really do. Maybe it's just pride because I can't do it all.
Sorry that I'm rambling. I need to jump in the shower and get Emma ready to go to childcare so I can get my CTscan over with.
I do find some relief knowing that God knows what's going on inside me and that he will continue to be with me. I continue to pray that He will give my Dr's the wisdom and knowledge to find out what's going on. I can only use this to glorify Him and what He continues to do in my life.
Monday, March 24, 2008
That's all folks. I'm hoping to get a good night sleep since Phillip will be here tonight so here's to me! Cheers! I'm off to soak in the tub and have an adult beverage to ward off any ill pains tonight.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
I finally finished taking the Flagyl antiobiotic this past Monday. Dr. L said I didn't have to take it anymore but I decided that I would continue taking it just for the heck of it. It's pretty rough on the stomach but mentally and physically I would prefer not to start all over again on it just in case an infection was diagnosed.
I have been pain free for the longest time yet in 6 weeks! Six days have passed but I am still taking the Bentyl at least once a day to prevent the pain from coming back. Maybe God decided to heal me for good.
Yesterday Dr. L's office called and said that he wants to schedule an ultrasound and HIDA scan along with an upper endoscopy. The ultra sound and HIDAscan is scheduled for next Wednesday and I have yet to schedule the upper endoscopy for the following week. These tests are going to look at my gall bladder and see how that's functioning.
Back in February when I went to my fertility doc and he wanted me to start the prednisone to get my testosterone down. Again, I decided to wait and start taking the Prometrium and Prednisone after I stopped taking the Flagyl. It's extremely dangerous to take the Flagyl if you are pregnant and I would never want to do something to harm a baby. So 2 nights ago I started taking the Prometrium to start my period and then once that happens I'll start the Prednisone. I'm excited because this is the exact protocol that we went through when I got pregnant with Emma so maybe this will work. Hopefully next month my testosterone will be down so we can proceed with the next round of shots.
It's amazing how God works in our lives. Many of you may not have known that Phillip was out of a job for two months. He's back to work and loving where he's at. We are going to have better insurance which will drastically reduce the cost of the shots that I will have to take and hopefully it will cover the Dr.'s maitenance fees for each round. If I would have gotten pregnant when I orginally wanted to, we would have had a much more stressful 2 months to endure while he was out of work. I know God has a plan for me and I am just so excited to see Him working in our lives. God is Good!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Props to Dr. L. He's on vacation with his family and he called to check in with me. I thought that was so nice and shows that he does care. My primary Dr.s office has also called to check up on me every couple of days.
So far I've been pain free since Sunday. 3 days! Before that I had been in pain from Wednesday until Saturday. When I have good days they are really good days and when I have bad days they are really bad.
Only God knows what's going on and how to fix it. It's in His hands.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
We were running late as usual and grabbed two seats quickly. As soon as we settled in the Pastor stepped on stage and said that he hasn't planned to do this this morning but that he felt led to call people to the front that are dealing with things in their lives that need praying for. I nudged Phillip and told him that I had prayed for this last night and what a miracle it was! He asked me if I was going up and I said, "Heck yeah!" So I headed up front with other people and took my place at the steps. The church gathered around and laid hands on each of us while they prayed for us and Pastor David prayed.
It was such an amazing experience to hear the Lord answer my prayers so fast! I don't doubt that he heard me at all. He's the only one that knows what going on with me in the inside and He's the only that can heal me. I gave it all over to him and I know that He's the Great Physician and can work miracles or provide the Dr's with the wisdom and knowledge to figure out what's going on with me.
God is Good!
Friday, March 14, 2008
I called both my primary Dr.'s office and Dr. L's (gastro) office and left messages. Dr. L's office called back and said that she would tell the on call Dr. that I was still having pain and that Dr. L had called on his day off and asked where my biopsy results were and to get on it. Maybe we'll have an answer by Monday. Primary's office called back and said that he was off until Monday and that she would also deliver my message. She said that he will want to see the biopsy results first and then decide what else we can do from there.
Another weekend coming up and no answers and still pain. I hope this isn't a chronic thing.
Nothing better than a daughter's unconditional love. Emma must have thought whatever was going on in the bathroom what great fun. She would soon appear at the door, come in and have a seat on her bathroom stool. We'd giggle, sing songs, patty cake. At one point she brought in a mini pillow in and handed it to me. She would climb up on her stool, turn the lights off and say "night night Mommy." Then she would turn the lights back on and then shake me and say, "Wake up Mommy!" I would wake up suddenly and she thought that was the funniest thing ever! Nothing like playing games while having stomach cramps on the toilet. Pure potty love...
Friday, March 7, 2008
If I'm still in a lot of pain then he wants to repeat the CT-Scan next week and then discuss the possibility of doing laproscopic surgery to go in and explore. I'm hoping and praying that it's all just a nasty infection of some sort and that it'll begin to clear itself any day now.
Nothing like going to see your friends husband to talk about constipation, diarreah and everything that is wrong with your body. But hey, he does this for a living so I'm nothing new to look at. He suggested that I have a colonoscopy done and that he wanted to do more bloodwork and take stool samples. So we scheduled my colonoscopy for Thursday. I had no idea what I was in for.
Tuesday night I drank my first bottle of Magnesium Citrate in lemon-lime flavor. It tasted like salt and smelt like it was taken from a porta-potty. After drinking 3/4 of the bottle I re-read my instructions and realized I wasn't supposed to drink the stuff until Thursday morning before I went in for the colonoscopy. Great.
So Wednesay I had to fast all day and could only have clear liquids such as broth, jello, popsicles, etc... I was a total grouch in the morning but as the day went on it got better and wasn't so bad. At 5:30 I had to take a pill that reduced indigestion and then at 6:00 I had to start drinking this liquid from a 4-qt jug. It was so bad. I was only about to get down 1 1/2 cups of the nasty stuff. I was supposed to drink it until my poo was clear. Interesting but yes, clear poo. I called the on-call Dr. and told him I just couldn't handle it. He told me that I could get a second bottle of Magnesium Citrate and drink that and I should be ok.
Thursday morning I was in the office by 9am but wasn't taken back until 10:30. By now I was ready to chew my arm off due to no food and the lack of even water to drink. When the lady first called me back she asked if I was her for an endoscope! Ughhh! No! Try the other end lady. She apologized, corrected herself and began the process. They prepped me, put me in some fashionable blue paper shorts that were about 20 times to big for me, hooked me up to an IV and laid me on the stretcher. I waited in the hall with all the other old gray-haired men waiting for their turn. All of a sudden I heard this man groan and yell NOOOOOO! I sat up straight looked at the closest nurse and she smiled and giggled a little. Thanks for the warning lady. I then got wheeled in to my room. I told my nurse that I didn't want any yelling, moaning or groaning during my session. She was funny and said that the man thought he was at home! Ok. They were super nice and eased my fears and slowly sent me into my Demoral sleeping state. It was so nice. I remember starting to wake up and pooting. How embarrasing! That was it. It was all over and I didn't feel a thing. I was sent home with instructions to rest and that they would be in touch.
The Dr. did say that some of my bloodwork came back from Tuesday and that my inflammation had gone down but they still saw some swollen lymphnodes. He thinks that it is not Chron's Disease but that he's leaning towards a food allergy such at Celiac's Disease or Eso-colitis or something like that where a parasite is in my intestions and hasn't gotten out. He took several biopsey's and we will see what those come back with.
Being that I still am not feeling well, my Mom flew in from Indianapolis so she could help me out with Emma. Monday afternoon I went back to my primary physician so I could follow up with him about my CT-Scan. He said that I did show inflamation in my abdomen and that I should start to feel better soon. He was a little baffled that I had such a bad weekend and still having lots of pain. He wrote me two more prescriptions: Flagyl (for colon infection) and Sulfasalazin (to reduce the inflamation) and sent me on my way with a referral to a Gastroenterologist. He said that he would try and get me an appointment to see the GI in the next 2 weeks. 2 weeks! 2 more weeks of sleepless nights, horrible pain and soaking in the tub by moonlight? Oh dear. How can this be? Luckily by the time I got home from the Dr's office they had already left me a message on my answering machine with an appointment for the GI on Friday. Ok. Friday is only 4 days away. It's certainly better than 2 weeks so I'll deal with it.
Monday night I woke up at 12:30am in pain again. I got in the bath and took a Percocet and was able to get back in bed 2 hours later. While I was in the bath God put it on my heart to email a girlfriend that I go to church/MOMS group with. Her husband is a GI doctor at the hospital that's about 10 minutes from our house. So I got onto the computer and emailed her asking if she could possibly get me an appointment to see her husband that next day. I was up and waiting for his office to open at 8:30am and how amazing is this. He had a cancellation that afternoon and I could get in to see him at 3:00pm!!! God is so good!
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Thursday afternoon my Dr.'s office (primary doc) called and said that he wants me to have a second CT-Scan and they scheduled it for tomorrow (Friday) at 8am. Good thing I'm a stay at home Mom because I can be flexible like that. Friday afternoon the nurse from the primary Doc's office called and said that the CT-Scan showed that I have "gastroenteritis" which is "inflamation of the abdomen." As the nurse put it, "You've got an old-fashioned belly ache!" She did not just tell me that I've been having an old-fashioned belly ache going on 3 weeks now. I was so annoyed but kept my cool. She actually called to ask me if I was still having pain. Well, considering that I was up again half the night with back and stomach pains I told her yes. Can you believe it? The percocet is not cutting it anymore! It doesn't even touch the pain anymore. I called the on-call Dr. this morning and asked if there was anything else he could give me for pain and he said no that Percocet should do the job and there's nothing better he could give me. Great. Now what? I could always go back to the Emergency Room where they offered me morphene. By the way, I did decline the morphene. That kind of weirded me out because isn't that what they give people in the hospital that are dying? I just didn't want to go there yet. So I'm doing something that I probably shouldn't but it's the only thing I know left to do. I just took a Percocet and having a beer. Yes everyone I am having a beer. You know what? I think it's taking the edge off. :) Here's to a good night. :) CHEERS! BOTTOMS UP!
I will be going to my Doctor Monday to see what else they want to do with me. Maybe I should donate myself to science so I can be a live body to experiment with.
Again I am not held responsible for anything I write on this post tonight given the circumstances and my state of mind. :)