Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Life Lessons Learned

Two weeks ago I told my Bible study girls that it would be my last week there. It was getting hard for me to get there every week. I asked Val, our host home, if we could set up maybe a video conference so I could still tune in. Val was going to have her husband hook it up so that I could 'attend' from bed! After last Wednesday's news of Phillip having been laid off certain things began to happen. Him being around has allowed me to really rest during the day. He takes care of everything so my job has been to take care of these babies and hopefully have them healthy when they decide to make their arrival. When he was still working I pushed myself pretty hard everyday. I chose to do this and didn't have to. I like to be busy and I like to take care of my family. I was determined to not go on bed rest at 28 weeks.

Phillip has really taken on everything. He makes sure that I rest. If I need something and try to get up and get it myself he's the first to jump up and tell me to lay back down and that he'll get it. Emma is a Daddy's girl so whenever I try and do things for her since he's been home she tells me, "No. My Daddy will do it." This leaves me with not much to do. I've been pretty down the last week and it came to a head yesterday. Phillip went for a run. We took Emma to the park and I watched them play while I sat on the park bench. I cried to my Dad on the phone and I cried to my friend Kathy. I cried and cried and cried. Talk about needing to relieve some of my own stress. I have no way to do it. I can't even walk to the end of my street without my pants falling down around my ankles or getting stretchy pains at the bottom of my belly. (They aren't bad I just know that I need to sit and rest.)

This morning Phillip headed out to drop off some resumes and it left me by myself. Would I sulk alone or use my time wisely? I decided to head to the kitchen table and opened my devotional and my Bible. It's the study of Jesus and it took me to Luke 2: 48-50. Mary was looking for Jesus and couldn't find him. When she finally found him in the temple she asked, "Why would you do this to us?" Jesus replied, "Didn't you know to find me in my Father's house?" I thought to myself, I really seek out Jesus during my times of trouble. I'm not consistent in my quiet time. Maybe we are going through this so that we will grow closer to Him.

Friday at Bible study Mrs. Kay is teaching us on 2 Timothy and we were reading chapter 2: 8-10.

10Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

Hmmm... So are we going through these trials so that others can see how we handle them and lean on the Lord so that maybe they will trust in God and choose to find their hope in Him? Pretty cool. I can think of a few people we've been praying for that we would love for them to find their hope in God.

My last 'Ah-Ha' moment I had today. I was driving to pick Emma up and thought to myself, "As a Christian and a Christ-follower we are not called to live a comfortable life. We are called to make disciples of all nations which in turn sometimes causes us to be persecuted. Christ didn't live a posh life nor did he have material things to make him happy. What was I thinking? Just because I'm a Christ-follower means that I shouldn't have trials in my life? That I should be entitled to "the perfect life" the "American dream?" WoW! Talk about putting things into perspective.

I'm very thankful for what I've learned today and pray that we have more positive days like this.


Leanne said...

Ash - this is such a sweet and heartfelt post. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Let your heart continue to be tender and open - allow yourself to be vulnerable to Him everyday and He will provide for you guys. I am doing a study on the life of David and learning how he was 'handpicked' by Christ. And so are you, Phillip, Emma, and these babies. And this moment you guys are in was handpicked by God for whatever reason. The desire of Christ's heart is for us to glorify Him in all we do; in both big things and little things. So even though right now you guys are in a tough situation; how you handle it and how you seek Him should bring glory to him. And you never know how it could impact someone else around you; through your blog or someone you know in 'real' life.

The study (Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed) goes on to say we are to have a God-consciousness. Once we begin to live aware of God with us in everything, we find that He really does have something to say about everything in our lives - not just "Sunday morning" part but every other part as well. Ex 33:15 "Lord, if Your presence does not go with us, do not lead us up from this place."

Just a few other scriptures I've read over the last few days and years:
Isaiah 7:9b “If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all."

Micah 6:8 He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.

and the last one I promise - this is one I've read many a time.

Malachi 3:11 - "Test me in this", says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it."

We love you guys and we are praying for you like crazy.

Call if you need anything....

P.S. sorry for the length I had another moment of once I started typing I couldn't stop. :)))

Ashley said...

Today has been 1/2 good and ending in 1/2 downer. Sometimes you find yourself having reached your limit of all you can take. It's fearful, scary, frustating and exciting all at the same time.

Hopefully your last verse will prove itself soon. We sure could use something uplifting and positive to happen. I don't know how much more we can take. Thanks for the encouragement. It has definitely come on a day when we really need it. Thank you!
Love ya,