My Theme Song

"Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?...Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come For You?"

Oh yes. I was wanted and chased down by a cop today. I should have immediately come home and blogged this but I was so mad and upset that I had to go shop.

Sunday, bless his heart, Phillip came home after church and cleared a 10ft area of brush behind our fence. He planned to leave the brush out for the garbage men to pick up today. So last night he hauled everything out to the curb and said a quick prayer that they would get it. When he called this morning the first question he asked was if they picked up the limbs. Ughhh, give me a few minutes to wake up before I go and look. So the next time I talked to him he asked again if they had picked the stuff up. Fine! I'll go look. I opened up the garage door and saw the brush still laying on the ground. I told him that they didn't pick it up and he asked, "Did they leave a note?" Are you kidding me? If I was a garbage man I would definitely carry a pad of paper and pen to leave people notes regarding their trash. That's about the tone I took with him as well. Not good.

So after I hung up I felt bad for snapping at him and decided that I would be the good wife and pile the stuff into the back of my car and dump it in the woods in theback of the neigborhood. I figured that was a good place to dump limbs and leaves where they would dissentagrate instead of breaking them down and putting them in a plastic bag to sit in a landfill somewhere. I was trying to be "green." So we are driving around with my tailgate open and a bunch of limbs hanging out the back looking for my drop point. I noticed that I was being followed by a city truck but thought that maybe he was the meter man. I pulled over, unloaded the limbs and brush and went on my way.

WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! Oh for pete's sake. The cop is coming after me? Are you kidding me? So the cop pulls me over and then the nice city worker pulls behind the cop car. I was pissed. The freakin meter maid called the cops on me! For dropping tree limbs off in the forest where they belong anyways. He got my driver's license and insurance card, told me that what I did was "illegal dumping" and went back to his car. I called Phillip and told him what was happening and he wasn't happy. He said that was like a $500 fine and why in the world did I go and dump it in the back of the neighborhood? Gee whiz! I was just trying to do something nice and help out and I'm getting in serious trouble. So I started crying. No it was more like I got hysterical. So Phillip told me to continue crying when the cop came back to the car and tell him how sorry I was for "dumping illegally" and that I would be more than happy to go back and pick it up.

The cop came back and he gave me two choices. 1)Pay a $400 fine or 2) Go back and pick up the debris I dumped. I obviously choose #2 and he followed me back to the crime scene. Yes, he followed me. I took him to the spot and got out and cried some more and told him that I was only trying to help and that I have a lot more of it where it came from sitting in the driveway. (This was to be haul #1 and the rest to follow.) I explained that we left it for the trashmen and they wouldn't take it so I thought I'd be nice and take it for my husband not knowing that what I was doing was illegal since it was in the woods and not on a cleared lot or a house. He was actually very nice and told me that he wouldn't mind if the stuff found it's way into a dumpster of some sort but that I couldn't just dump it in the woods. Point taken.

So I drove away, cried some more and felt like a total moron for what I did. It was so humiliating. I love my town, I love that every where you turn you see cops patroling to keep our neighborhood and town one of the safest communities in the state but gee whiz. Did I have to get busted for dumping tree limbs? That's so lame!

Thanks to Officer Perry for letting me retrieve my tree limbs and not stick me with a hefty fine.

Progesterone

This morning was my bloodwork to see what my progesterone level was. Over the past year my Progesterone levels were well below 10 but today I have good news! It was 17.5! So if I am pregnant then I could sustain a healthy pregnancy with this level.

Since my levels have been so low in the past with Emma as the exception, Dr. L put me on Progesterone suspositories. I was not thrilled to have to do them twice a day but it isn't as bad as I thought they would be.

So we are still in the waiting game until next week.

Triggering!

I went back and forth whether or not to post due to the sensitivity and very personal nature and decided that I would. I've been open and honest about everything else so far so why not this.

This morning we hiked it over to the Dr.'s office for my ultrasound and bloodwork. I was excited to see that I had one good follicle that was 1.8cm! My guess was that Dr. L would want to trigger ovulation tonight. We have to wait and see what my estrogen level is as to whether or not they trigger.

So we're triggering ovulation tonight. My estrogen was 324 which she says was good for only having one follicle. I kind of got bummed though because with one follicle is slims down the chance of getting pregnant. But as I sit here and think about it, all we really want to trigger is one egg. That would reduce the chances of multiples. Yikes! What would I do with twins? I guess the Lord only gives you what you can handle. So we'll say lots of prayers and hope that this works.

They are going to supplement me with progesterone starting on night 4 after ovulation. So if it wasn't enough to give myself shots everynight I'm going to have to subsitute for giving myself suppositories twice a day. Yuck! But I'll be just fine.

So we covet your prayers and know that the Lord is faithful and good. We pray that if we should get pregnant that this pregnancy will bring nothing but glory to God and the life that He has entrusted us with. We hold tight to Jeremiah 1:5 and Jeremiah 29:11.

Day 22/ Day 7

Back at the Dr.'s office waiting to see what today holds. I'm excited to report that we have growth! Left ovary was still laying low with one follicle about .75cm but we had two good competing on the right ovary. One follicle was 1.3 and the second was 1.0cm! I was super happy to see some kind of positive action going on. This has been a long process and I just didn't want to quit. That would have been a bummer. So I'm back on my shots for 3 more nights and then go back on Monday morning. Estrogen was 108 so it's increasing which is also a good sign.

Day 19/Day 4

After getting back from a much needed vacation in the Mountains with Phillip's family it was hard getting up early and driving downtown for my ultrasound and bloodwork. It was nice taking 3 days off of the medicine and then starting back again. It gave my body some much needed break. Saturday night I started back giving myself shots but it was hard remembering to do it at the same time each night. Your schedule is always a bit unpredictable when your on vacation and your definitely not watching the clock. The first night I panic'd after I realized it was 9:50est and I should have had my shot an hour and a half ago. Oh well... Sunday night was better and Monday night we were back home so it wasn't to bad remembering.

So when I got to the office and they did the ultrasound I was bummed to see that my follicles were about 1.0cm big. Of course they want the follicle to be at least 1.5 or larger before they trigger as long as the estrogen is in a good range. So I walked out of the office thinking that they would call this afternoon and cancel the cycle for good. The nurse called and told me that I have instructions to continue the shots for 3 more nights! Wow! I was floored. Totally expecting them to cancel. She said that having taken off 3 days that it's like starting over again. So today is like day 4 for me. Ok. I'll go with that. It's better than canceling and having to sit out a month and start all over again.

So here's to 3 more nights!

Cycle Day 13

Good news and then not so good news. The not so good news is that my estrogen dropped from 91 on Monday down to 58 on Wednesday. Not so good. But the good news is that Dr. L didn't cancel my cycle and I don't have to stress out so much now. His plan is for me to take the next three nights off from doing shots. Then I'll start back up on them Saturday night through Monday and then go back in for an ultrasound and bloodwork Tuesday morning. I'm kind of excited because it'll give my follicles time to grow and hopefully my estrogen will increase as well. This will take me out to day 19. If I don't get good news on Tuesday I'm almost guarenteed he'll cancel me because he doesn't like to go past 18 days. But stranger things have happened. All we can do is pray.

I promised myself that whatever the news was today that I wouldn't let it ruin my day. This morning I took Emma to see Go Diego Go Live and we had such an awesome time. Keeping things in perspective, I have a great husband who supports me in all of this and an amazing little girl that God has blessed us with. I can't ask for more so if it's not meant to be a second child in our family then we'll all be just fine.

Cycle Day 12

Never in my life has this happened to me before. For one thing, I can hardly get my body to have a period in a span of like 3 or 4 months on it's own. Last night I started spotting/bleeding in the middle of my cycle. What the heck? Now this is really weird because I've never done that before. Luckily I go back to the Dr for my ultrasound and bloodwork in the morning so I'll see what they have to say. I'm getting prepared for them to cancel my cycle. We'll see.

I did find something that made me feel better yesterday. I keep a copious amount of notes from each cycle and I went back and found the notes from the cycle that I got pregnant on with Emma. Since I was doing the same protocol I wanted to compare my follicle size with the estrogen levels to see how I progressed. It was almost exactly the same thing that I did with Emma. I'm talking my estrogen was within points of each other on exactly the same days. So we are shooting for my estrogen to be over 133 and I'll feel good. I'm still not sure what they are going to say about the bleeding but we'll know in a couple of hours.

Cycle Day 11

Monday June 2, 2008

Boy was this a hard day. My melt down had been coming for the past couple of weeks but it's always unexpected but afterwards relief fills you. Emma's been waking up super early these days so that doesn't help things. We were up at 6:10am even before the alarm clock went off. So we were out the door by 8am so I could be at Dr. L's office before 9am. Schools out so I thought traffic would be smooth sailing. I was wrong. My normal way of going to the Dr.'s was at a stand still so I detoured myself and ended up in a worse traffic jam than if I went the normal way. I was 10 minutes late and super afraid that they labs would have left before I got there. Luckily one of the nurses called to see where I was and they waited for me. Seems like I wasn't the only one who got caught in all of the traffic mess that morning.

Emma gets spoiled at the Dr.'s office. It's not often when women have children and probably even more odd that someone has a child and still has to come to the fertility clinic. Emma is my best buddy and goes everywhere with me. She's greeted with smiles and hugs and special treats when she goes with me. She knows where the lollipops are and who has special stashes. In the lab they have special Dora bandaids waiting for her to put on her babies that she brings in with the stroller or to put on herself. Maybe one day Emma will be a doctor. She loves to sit beside me when I get my ultrasounds done and watch what she calls "the video."

So after the stressful morning we headed over to the botanical gardens to check out the roses and hydrangas. This was a fun stop and Emma enjoyed smelling all the roses and pushing baby all over the place. I was amazed at how beautiful their hydrangas were and I got excited when I saw that they actually sold them in their gift store. I about fell over when I saw the price tag that was $49.99 for an either 5 gallon bucket or it may have been 10 gallons but none the less it was way more than I wanted to pay. So I went and stole some out of a random person's house. Well, actually the house was vacant and for sale and were right on the road. So was that really technically stealing if no one lived there? I just took a few branches so I could try and propagate them. Lord, please forgive me for stealing. I actually do feel bad now. Since I couldn't go and put them back I came home and planted them yesterday so we'll see if they grow. If not, my mother-in-law is propagating some from her backyard that I'm sure will grow as they should. After all, she was the president of the Garden Club in her hometown last year.

So I got the phone call from the nurse telling me that my estrogen had increased to I believe it was 95 or so. Give or take a few points because I'm writing this several days later. I was so upset. My follicles are just not taking off and my estrogen is slowly increasing. Here insues the meltdown. I realized that I really did want this to work this time. I'm freaking out because they could possibly cancel my cycle this go round and I don't want that. I want to keep plugging away. We are headed out of town soon and I need to be done with the ultrasounds in just a few days and I don't know if I'll make it. Totally stressed out. I'm so over my weight and how I've let myself get to this point. I call Phillip and cry. We agree that I should cold-turkey chocolate. I then proceed to empty out the cabinets and fridge of anything that has chocolate and I feel better. It's been 2 days since I've had chocolate. That's a big deal! Well I do have to admit I cheated last night. We had a Girls Night Out over at my friend Kristine's house and she made brownies so I had one. It's still better than what I've been doing to myself over the past week. No, correct me over the past seven years.

I packed Emma up and we headed to the gym to work out some frustrations and I start to feel better. That's after I also called Leanne and cried on her shoulder for a while. :)