I'm even more convinced now that it is more common to experience postpartum depression after doing infertility treatments.
I've posted before that I had babyblues/postpartum depression after I had Emma. My theory was that since I was hyped up on hormones to get pregnant and then sucessfully conceived Emma which further hightened my hormones and then once I delievered her my hormones plumeted leaving me on the opposite end of the hyped up hormone girl.
More evidence points to my theory being correct. Of course this is all my own personal opinions and are not backed by any medical facts. Since I've completed two rounds of fertility shots and have had to sit out two months, I think I'm going through hormone withdrawals. The last couple of weeks I've had similar feelings as to what I experienced right after I had Emma. Thank the Lord they are not as bad as what I had with Emma but still it makes you feel not quite right. I started noticing the symptoms the day after everyone had left from Emma's Birthday weekend. I woke up feeling depressed. I tried to think of some things for Emma and I to do that would keep us moving and busy. I called Phillip and talked to him about it. "Maybe I'm sad because everyone left and the house is so quiet again." He thought that was it and suggested that we take a nap and keep busy.
The nap didn't help and we tried keeping busy but the feelings persisted. With the sun going down much earlier these days it also makes me feel sad. It's the strangest thing. I count down the hours until Phillip gets home so we are not by ourselves. I found things to focus on and keep us busy and things have been better lately but I truely think it's because I'm having hormonal withdraws from all of the medicine.
It's scary to think that all of the hormones they pump into you can have such an impact on your daily life. I guess I'm so used to running on low hormones that I don't know a difference until they pump me up and then deflate me.
Such is life and such the roller coaster I live on these days. I am thankful that I have a husband who somewhat understands me and what I am going through and how it all makes me feel. I thank God that he lets me talk things out without judging me or calling me crazy even though some days I feel like I am. Hopefully this roller coaster won't last much longer but I know that however long we are on it that the Lord is working through us so I find comfort in that.